Budaape mai Sex

एक बार एक बूढा आदमी अपने दोस्त से बोला।

बूढा: तुझे पता है मैं 70 साल का होने के बावजूद आज भी सेक्स करने में 2 घंटे 40 मिनट और 10 सेकंड का समय लगाता हूँ।

दोस्त: अबे जा तुझे चूतिया बनाने के लिए कोई और नहीं मिला क्या?

दोस्त: नहीं सच में।

दोस्त: अच्छा वो कैसे?

बूढा: 40 मिनट खडा करने में, 10 सेकंड चोदने में और चोदने के बाद 2 घंटे होश में आने में।

Share Bazaar

बॉम्बे शेयर बाज़ार के पुरुष शौचालय में लिखा था;

कुछ देर पकड़ कर रखो, यह ज़रूर बढेगा।

Future ke liye Saving

BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.
GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.

BOY : Which one ?
GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.
BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.
GIRL : Which one ?
BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!
GIRL : Lo tum tho serious ho gaye.. Arre I ws kidin jaanu
Boy: Can i Kiss u?
Girl: Condom laye ho?
Boy: kiss k liye condom?
Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho jese kissing k bad Khade Lun pe 2013 ka Calender tangoge!!

Jhaant

Question: "Which Is The Only Hindi Measurement Unit That Describes Time, Length, Weight, Heat, Light, Power, Noise Etc. Everything At Minimum Value?"







Answer: "Jhaant Barabar"

Pahle Mera

Madam : Shor mat karo nahi to Khadda kar dungi...

Bachhe :

Pahle Mera...
Pahle Mera...
Pahle Mera...

Makeup

Girls Put makeup, lots of creams, sexy perfumes and they make the best hairstyle EVER.
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Finally guys look at them and say:
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Bhenchod GAAN DEKH SAALI Ki........

The Key

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.

The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY", where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Key".

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them."


The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."




She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

Conversation

Do buzurg aapas main baat kar rahe the


Old man 1- my hands shake so badly that i always cut my face while shaving

Old man 2- thts nothing broda my hands shakes so terribely that i masturbated twice while pissing yesterday....