Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun. Show all posts

Friday, February 22, 2013

Budaape mai Sex

एक बार एक बूढा आदमी अपने दोस्त से बोला।

बूढा: तुझे पता है मैं 70 साल का होने के बावजूद आज भी सेक्स करने में 2 घंटे 40 मिनट और 10 सेकंड का समय लगाता हूँ।

दोस्त: अबे जा तुझे चूतिया बनाने के लिए कोई और नहीं मिला क्या?

दोस्त: नहीं सच में।

दोस्त: अच्छा वो कैसे?

बूढा: 40 मिनट खडा करने में, 10 सेकंड चोदने में और चोदने के बाद 2 घंटे होश में आने में।

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Future ke liye Saving

BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.
GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.

BOY : Which one ?
GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.
BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.
GIRL : Which one ?
BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!
GIRL : Lo tum tho serious ho gaye.. Arre I ws kidin jaanu
Boy: Can i Kiss u?
Girl: Condom laye ho?
Boy: kiss k liye condom?
Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho jese kissing k bad Khade Lun pe 2013 ka Calender tangoge!!

Jhaant

Question: "Which Is The Only Hindi Measurement Unit That Describes Time, Length, Weight, Heat, Light, Power, Noise Etc. Everything At Minimum Value?"







Answer: "Jhaant Barabar"

Conversation

Do buzurg aapas main baat kar rahe the


Old man 1- my hands shake so badly that i always cut my face while shaving

Old man 2- thts nothing broda my hands shakes so terribely that i masturbated twice while pissing yesterday....

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Sunny Leone in Mughal e Aajam

Agar madhu bala ki jagah Mughal e Azam mein Sunny Leone hoti toh film kaa naam kya hota...















Mooh Mein Orgasm

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Pranab - Bangali President

Pranab dada will need to improve his Hindi.

Otherwise he will continue to call himself the 'Raasta-potty of India'

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Economic Equalizer


An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan" All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED. The professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.     Could not be any simpler than that.
================================================================================================== These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read....  and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

and most importantly.....
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Real Meaning of Bhosadi Ke

"BHOSADI KE"

It may surprise you to know that the origin of the phrase "BHOSADIKE" is, in fact, an ancient Sanskrit greeting, "Bho sad ike?" meaning, "Sir, are you well?"

'Bho' is a term used for respectful greeting, similar to 'Aho!'.

'Sad' is a prefix used for 'good things', as in sadguru, sadiccha etc.

'Ika' is a atmanepadi verb meaning 'to be'.

Other forms of this are:
- 'Ike ikaavahe ikaamahe'
- 'Ikase ikethe ikadhve'
- 'Ikate ikete ikante'

Hence "BHOSADIKE" was a popular form of greeting in ancient India, before the Mughals invaded India and prohibited it for some reason.

However some steadfast Indians continued to use this greeting. Therefore, to assassinate this greeting morally, the Mughals gave it profane and vulgar connotations, which unfortunately prevail even to this day.

It is time we revived our ancient Indian traditions heeding to the call of the purists to go back to our ancient way of life.

So say "BHOSADIKE" to all the people you meet and explain to them its true, pure meaning.

Source : Forward from a friend and I am sure this is all rubbish

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Stock Market

It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He
went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is Going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter."

The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
 
"Absolutely,"
The man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
 
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy."

This is how stock markets work!!!

The Truth

One day, a girl, 16yrs old, heared from her mother that if she will do a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Devi" will come to her dreams & give her 3 boons(Varadaan). So she decided to do it. She completed 4 yrs successfully, doing prayer regularly.

Now it was a day for "Devi" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask.


And, really a "Devi" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them.

Devi: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4 yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Devi: You have a boy-friend?

Girl: Yes.

Devi: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didn't know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So
whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time ... ): Yes, I am ready.

Girl: 1st, Make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: It's OK.

Devi: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world.

Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: It's OK.

Devi: Be as you wish.

Devi: Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Devi, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Devi: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Devi: Be as you wish.

Think friends,
what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world's most beautiful girl and the richest one, too.

Moral of the story: So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys!

Now, girls please stop reading ... boys continue till the end of the post .....

***********************************
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Dear boys, dont worry, actually what done is something different than what you all think!

Actually, the girl's boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. So the boy-friend lived longer than the girl, being world's richest and the most handsome boy.

Moral of the story: Dear boys, the girls are not really that much intelligent than what we believe them to be