Future ke liye Saving

BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.
GIRL : Its okay but under one condition.

BOY : Which one ?
GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband.
BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition.
GIRL : Which one ?
BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!!
GIRL : Lo tum tho serious ho gaye.. Arre I ws kidin jaanu
Boy: Can i Kiss u?
Girl: Condom laye ho?
Boy: kiss k liye condom?
Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho jese kissing k bad Khade Lun pe 2013 ka Calender tangoge!!

Makeup

Girls Put makeup, lots of creams, sexy perfumes and they make the best hairstyle EVER.
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.
.
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Finally guys look at them and say:
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.
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Bhenchod GAAN DEKH SAALI Ki........

Pyaasi Ladki ki shayari

Tod Kar Ye Sari Duniya Ke Bandhan Aur Asool,
Main Aaj Teri Baahon Mein Aana Chahti Hun,

Bhul Ke Sharm Aaj Tere Badan Se Lipat Kar,
Apne Hoth Tere Hotho Se Milana Chahti Hun,

Utaar Ke Apne Makhmali Tan Se Saare Kapde,
Mein Aaj Tere Bister Ko Sajaana Chahti Hun.

Dikka Kar Tujhe Apni Chhati Ka Haseen Nazara,
Usey Aaaj Tere Hathon Se Dabwana Chahti Hun.

Aaj Apni Dono Taangon Ko Khol Kar Thoda Sa,
Tumhe Apni Sharm-Gah Dikhana Chahti Hun.

Meri Sharm-Gah Ko Sehlana Apni Zuban Se,
Iska Lutff Main Bhi Aaj Uthana Chahti Hun.

Mujhe Tum Bistar Pe Leja Kar Ragad Daalo,
Kyuki Aaj Mein Sirf Chudwana Chahti Hun

Faansi Ki Saja

Mujrim Ko Fansi Ki Saja Sunane Ke Baad Judge Ne Us Se Puchha


Judge: “Koi Akhiri Khawish?”


Mujrim: “Aap Ki Beti Se Shaadi, Blackbery Bold, Apple I-Phone, 100 Crore Rupaye, U.S.A Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon Trip, 6-7 Bacche Jo Aapko Nana-Nana Aur Mujhe Papa-Papa Kahe, Aur Main Unki Shaadi Karwa Doon, Uske Baad Aap Jo Bhi Faisla Doge Mujhe Manjoor Hoga”


Judge Zor Se Haste Hue Bola: “Muh Mein Le Le Mera Sale, Meri Koi Beti Hi Nahi Hai, Taang Do Madarch0d Ko Abhi Ke Abhi“

Sunny Leone in Mughal e Aajam

Agar madhu bala ki jagah Mughal e Azam mein Sunny Leone hoti toh film kaa naam kya hota...















Mooh Mein Orgasm

Pranab - Bangali President

Pranab dada will need to improve his Hindi.

Otherwise he will continue to call himself the 'Raasta-potty of India'

Real Meaning of Bhosadi Ke

"BHOSADI KE"

It may surprise you to know that the origin of the phrase "BHOSADIKE" is, in fact, an ancient Sanskrit greeting, "Bho sad ike?" meaning, "Sir, are you well?"

'Bho' is a term used for respectful greeting, similar to 'Aho!'.

'Sad' is a prefix used for 'good things', as in sadguru, sadiccha etc.

'Ika' is a atmanepadi verb meaning 'to be'.

Other forms of this are:
- 'Ike ikaavahe ikaamahe'
- 'Ikase ikethe ikadhve'
- 'Ikate ikete ikante'

Hence "BHOSADIKE" was a popular form of greeting in ancient India, before the Mughals invaded India and prohibited it for some reason.

However some steadfast Indians continued to use this greeting. Therefore, to assassinate this greeting morally, the Mughals gave it profane and vulgar connotations, which unfortunately prevail even to this day.

It is time we revived our ancient Indian traditions heeding to the call of the purists to go back to our ancient way of life.

So say "BHOSADIKE" to all the people you meet and explain to them its true, pure meaning.

Source : Forward from a friend and I am sure this is all rubbish

The Truth

One day, a girl, 16yrs old, heared from her mother that if she will do a regular prayer for 4 yrs, a divine "Devi" will come to her dreams & give her 3 boons(Varadaan). So she decided to do it. She completed 4 yrs successfully, doing prayer regularly.

Now it was a day for "Devi" to come. So she slept earlier with thoughts in her mind to ask.


And, really a "Devi" comes in her dreams. Now this is the dialogue between them.

Devi: O Girl, you prayed to me regularly within last 4 yrs, so I am very very happy with you. I will complete any of your 3 wishes. You can ask anything you like, but there is one condition.

Girl: Condition!, what is that?

Devi: You have a boy-friend?

Girl: Yes.

Devi: When you were doing a prayer, he was waiting for you, so he also sacrificed same as you. Moreover, he didn't know anything about boon and all, so he is also eligible for the boons. So
whatever you will ask, he will get 10 times more than that of you. If you are agreed, then proceed for the 1st boon.

Girl: (After thinking for some time ... ): Yes, I am ready.

Girl: 1st, Make me 10 times richer than the richest person in the world.

Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times richer than you.

Girl: It's OK.

Devi: Be as you wish!

Girl: 2nd, Make me 10 times more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the world.

Devi: But your boy-friend will be 10 times handsome than the most handsome boy in the world.

Girl: It's OK.

Devi: Be as you wish.

Devi: Now the last boon remains.

Girl: O Devi, please give me a MILD HEART-ATTACK.

Devi: What? Are you sure!

Girl: Yes. Very sure!

Devi: Be as you wish.

Think friends,
what happened to her boy-friend, he got a severe heart-attack & died at once, while the girl remained alive. Thus, the girl became the world's most beautiful girl and the richest one, too.

Moral of the story: So intelligent the girls are! Girls are really more intelligent than we believe about them to be. So be careful boys!

Now, girls please stop reading ... boys continue till the end of the post .....

***********************************
************************************


Dear boys, dont worry, actually what done is something different than what you all think!

Actually, the girl's boy-friend got a heart-attack, 10 TIMES MILDER than that of the girl. So the boy-friend lived longer than the girl, being world's richest and the most handsome boy.

Moral of the story: Dear boys, the girls are not really that much intelligent than what we believe them to be

Famous Sex Quotes

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Steve Martin

"You know that look women get when they want sex?
. . .Me neither."
--Drew Carey

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have
a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Unknown

"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it
kind of hard for him to come out of the closet."
--Bill Kelly

"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women
and clergymen." -- Rev. Sydney Smith

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date
on Saturday night."
--Woody Allen

"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly
gifted aren't burdened with children."
--Sam Austin

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."
--George Burns

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of
getting married."
--Matt Barry

"Leaving sex to the clergy is like letting your dog
vacation at the taxidermist."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns

Mechanic Vs. Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
Davidson motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his
shop.

The surgeon was there waiting for the service manager to come take a
look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc,
can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was
working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So
Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair
any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just
like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really
big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the
mechanic..."Try doing it with the engine running."

Sabse Pavitra Cheez

Duniya mein sabse pavitra cheez agar koi hai to woh hai aapka ling.


Yeh bahut hi vinamra hai. Hamesha jhuka raheta hai

Yeh bahut hi dayalu hai. Ladkiyon ki goad bharta hai

Yeh bahut hi sadgi pasand hai. Choti si guga mein raat guzarta hai.


Bahut hi aadarniya hai. Naari ko dekh ke khada ho jaata hai

Yeh farishta hai. Chahe jitna bhi modo, marodo, ismein se amrit hi nikal ta hai jis s e duniya chalti hai

agar aap ling dhari hai to iss message ko forward karen

Suhagraat ke agle din

Wife : Jaan , Nashta kar lo ...

Husband : Sex hi nashta hai ... chudai shuru .

Dopahar ko ...

Wife : Jaan , Lunch kar lo ...

Husband : Sex hi lunch hai ... chudai shuru .

Raat ko ....

Husband bedroom mein ghusa to dekha ki wife heater ke saamne taange phaila ke baithi hui hai ...

Husband : arre , ye kya kar rahi ho ?

Wife : Aapka dinner garam kar rahi hu .

Petrol Ke Badte Rate Ko Dekhte Hue Ek News Channel Walo Ne Report Di Hai Ki

Aaj Ke Bad Petrol Pump Par Adult Movies Chalya Karenge


Taki Aap Petrol Bharvate Hue Usi Time Pe Kisi Aur Ko Bhi Chudte Dekh Sako




(What An Idea Sir Ji)

Gashtiyon ka Adda

---

Banta Bhaga Bhaga Santa Ke Ghar Aya Aur Hanfte Hue Santa Ko Bola...

Banta: “Santa, Mai ne Abhi Teri Biwi Ko Gashtiyon (Call Girls) Ke Adde Pe Dekha Tha, Jara Dhayan Rakha Kar”

Santa Rote Hue: “Haye Mere Bhagwan, Meri Gharwali Ko Choot Lene Ki Aadat Kab Se Pad Gayi?“

Mere Laal Mere Sone

Subha Subha Uthte Hi Wife Ka Sex Ka Mood Ban Gaya
Usne Kambal Mein Se Haath Dala Aur Pati ka L*nd Pakad Kar Boli
Wife: “Mere Laal Mere Sone Uth Ja Na”

Husband: “Tune Isko Choot Mein Lena Hai Ya School Bhejna Hai“

Hollywood & Bollywood

Pappu: “Papa Teacher Ne Ek Question Pucha Hai, Aur Kaha Hai Ghar Se Puch Ke Aana”

Papa: “Kya Question Hai?”

Pappu: “Bollywood Aur Hollywood Mein Kya Faraq Hota Hai?”

Papa: “Dekh Beta Jahan Ladki “BOL” Se Khelne De, Wo Bollywood Aur Jahan Ladki “HOL” Se Khelne De Wo Hollywood

Harami Dost ki Kami

Ek Harami Dost Ki Kami Kab Mahsoos Hoti Hai?



Jab Tum Akele Bethe Ho Aur Ladkiyo Ke Group Ko Dekh Rahe Ho



Aur Tumhare Aas Paas Koi Na Ho Ye Kahne Wala













“Bhencho Mammay Dekh”

Punjabi

George W Bush and Gordon Brown are shown a time machine which can see 100 years into the future. The both decide to test it by asking a question each. George goes first

"What will the USA be like in 100 years time"

The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out "The country is in good hands under the new president, crime is non-existant, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. There are no worries"

Gordon Brown thinks "Its not bad this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks "What will Britain be like in 100 years time?"

The machine whirrs and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

"Come on Gordon" says George, "Share what it says"

"I can't read it George! Its all in Punjabi!"

Katie Holmes Grew Tired of Workaholic Tom

Katie Holmes had reportedly grown tired of estranged husband Tom Cruise always putting work before family and knew she and daughter Suri would never be his priority.

Katie Holmes had reportedly grown tired of Tom Cruise always putting work before family.

The former 'Dawson's Creek' actress - who filed for divorce from the 50-year-old actor last week - was said be fed up with how Tom was often away from home and never made her or their six-year-old daughter, Suri, his priority.

A source said: "They had problems for a while. His career came first, and Katie was no longer happy. She wanted him to stay home and spend time together. But Tom has always been a movie star, he knows nothing else. This is a good father and good husband, when present, but ... the work comes first."

Katie, 33, was also keen for little Suri to have a normal childhood and knew if she stayed with Tom she wouldn't be able to because he is such a big follower of the controversial religion Scientology.

The source added to E! Online: "She left him because she wanted a better life for herself and her daughter. Suri has no friends. She has no normal life, and it became increasingly obvious, as she got older.

"Katie wants a project where she will remain in a fixed location, where Suri will go to school, have friends, meet children to play, all these things she doesn't do right now. Katie was unhappy in her marriage, so she decided to end it so that her daughter had a happier life."

It has been claimed Katie left Tom as she feared he wanted to send Suri to a boot camp for the cult religion.