The Key

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.

The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY", where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Key".

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them."


The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."




She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

Conversation

Do buzurg aapas main baat kar rahe the


Old man 1- my hands shake so badly that i always cut my face while shaving

Old man 2- thts nothing broda my hands shakes so terribely that i masturbated twice while pissing yesterday....

Balls

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And....
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

Pyaasi Ladki ki shayari

Tod Kar Ye Sari Duniya Ke Bandhan Aur Asool,
Main Aaj Teri Baahon Mein Aana Chahti Hun,

Bhul Ke Sharm Aaj Tere Badan Se Lipat Kar,
Apne Hoth Tere Hotho Se Milana Chahti Hun,

Utaar Ke Apne Makhmali Tan Se Saare Kapde,
Mein Aaj Tere Bister Ko Sajaana Chahti Hun.

Dikka Kar Tujhe Apni Chhati Ka Haseen Nazara,
Usey Aaaj Tere Hathon Se Dabwana Chahti Hun.

Aaj Apni Dono Taangon Ko Khol Kar Thoda Sa,
Tumhe Apni Sharm-Gah Dikhana Chahti Hun.

Meri Sharm-Gah Ko Sehlana Apni Zuban Se,
Iska Lutff Main Bhi Aaj Uthana Chahti Hun.

Mujhe Tum Bistar Pe Leja Kar Ragad Daalo,
Kyuki Aaj Mein Sirf Chudwana Chahti Hun

Faansi Ki Saja

Mujrim Ko Fansi Ki Saja Sunane Ke Baad Judge Ne Us Se Puchha


Judge: “Koi Akhiri Khawish?”


Mujrim: “Aap Ki Beti Se Shaadi, Blackbery Bold, Apple I-Phone, 100 Crore Rupaye, U.S.A Ka Visa, 2 Saal Ka Honeymoon Trip, 6-7 Bacche Jo Aapko Nana-Nana Aur Mujhe Papa-Papa Kahe, Aur Main Unki Shaadi Karwa Doon, Uske Baad Aap Jo Bhi Faisla Doge Mujhe Manjoor Hoga”


Judge Zor Se Haste Hue Bola: “Muh Mein Le Le Mera Sale, Meri Koi Beti Hi Nahi Hai, Taang Do Madarch0d Ko Abhi Ke Abhi“

Pakistan's next missile name

Since Pakistan names its missiles only after invaders from Afghanistan who invaded Pakistan,

my idea for next missile name

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SEAL Team 6

Sunny Leone in Mughal e Aajam

Agar madhu bala ki jagah Mughal e Azam mein Sunny Leone hoti toh film kaa naam kya hota...















Mooh Mein Orgasm